#DearMe

Hey Guys!

I’ve spent an hour or so of my Friday night catching up on some youtube videos, and I noticed a lot of them titled #DearMe, these videos are you tubers speaking to their younger selves and sharing a few pearls of wisdom from present to past selves. This struck a chord with me. I’ve always struggled to not dislike who I was growing up, but I figured now is the time to sit back and take a real reflection on who younger me really was.
If you’re inspired to do this yourself, please do link me to this, I’d love to see!

– E
x

Dear Me,

Firstly I need you to know that you’re doing great and I wish you could be proud of yourself. You’re doing the best you can, don’t expect any more of yourself and know that it’s okay to struggle.

You really don’t need to put so much pressure on yourself. Getting good grades and doing well in school is important, sure, but it doesn’t define your worth and you’ll be just fine. You don’t need to prove anything to yourself or anyone else.
To add on to this, stop punishing yourself because of who you are and because of things that are out of your control. I know you don’t see it just yet, but you really are very strong and I wish you could find kindness towards yourself.
It’s okay that you don’t enjoy the same things as your peers; books interest you more than  staying out late and getting into trouble- one day you’ll really appreciate that you stuck to your guns and stayed true to yourself. You might feel like you’re missing out, or that you’re weird because you’re content staying in with a movie and a couple of friends rather than going out and…doing whatever it was everyone else was doing. This is just who you are, and it won’t change, but one day you’ll meet like-minded people who will enjoy this with you, and you’ll meet people who love your quirks and despite calling you Grandma, they really won’t judge you for this.

People like you, no really, they do. You’ll lose contact with a lot of people, but you’ll meet so many new and inspiring people. Their company will always be a pleasure and you’ll learn so much about yourself because of them.
You’ll meet a guy, too, and despite all of your stubbornness that (in the words of Paramore) “I’m content with loneliness,” he’ll change this and you’ll be glad you allowed yourself to let your guard down.
This is a rule that could be applied to life in general, let more people in and don’t close yourself off from others. It’s frustrating when it feels like no one is really listening or trying to understand you, but at the same time it’s equally as frustrating for someone to be talking to a wall.

You’re going to experience some more hard times, but you’ll get through them. You’ll need to take some time to heal yourself, but with the aid of good friends, good memories and a lot of laughter, you’ll begin that journey.

Don’t take everything so seriously. A lot of things just aren’t worth the effort and there are some things you just need to let go. You can’t control everything, and although this will annoy you to no end, you’ll learn to deal with it and you’ll accept that not being in control of everything isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

I know you’ve always believed that there was something worth living for, and you were never quite sure what that was; you’ll slowly begin to see these small parts of life that are worth the world.
Appreciate the simple things in life, because these are the things that make you happy: friends, family, love, dreams and laughter, these are the things that really matter to you.

You’re not perfect, and you might not have your life completely together (you’ll learn that nobody really does!) It’s the journey that counts. Embrace it.
You’re doing okay, kid.

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Happy Holidays & Positive Thinking

Happy Belated Christmas to you all, and an early Happy New Year!

DSC_0370I’ve had a couple of days off work, and aside from spending time with my loved ones, I’ve also spent a lot of time watching back to back Dexter on Netflix (yes, I’m late to the show on this one but now I’m officially hooked.)
I just wanted to talk (type?) a little about 2015. I’m not usually one for New Year’s Resolutions, I’m usually of the mind set that a new year really doesn’t change much. This year it’s a little different, I’m facing a lot of changes and with this brings a new eagerness for life. I’ll be starting a new job in January, which I’m both nervous and excited about. I currently work with the best group of people, and it’ll be sad that we’re all parting ways but I feel like I really have made friends for life. I’ll be closing the chapter on a few things and I’ll be approaching what I like to think of as a new lease of life.
I have a few practical goals for 2015; find my own home, be successful in my new job, release a new book, perhaps get back to learning to drive. More so than these, I feel the importance to strip back to basics of what’s important to me.
Over the past year or so I’ve been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks, and so have people who are very close to me. This is a sentiment that I’d like them to apply to themselves, and for you to do so as well.

Life can be so fast-paced, days blur into one and it’s easy to fall into habits. It’s easy to get weighed down by daily stresses and stresses that you create in your own head (guilty!) There’s a lot to be said about simply taking time out of your day to be kind to yourself, and this is my main goal for 2015. For me, being kind to myself can simply mean allowing myself to sit down with a book, quiet music in the background and a relaxing candle. I’ve been doing more of this over the past month or so, and it really helps with my anxiety. A lot of people feel as though they don’t deserve to take this time for themselves, simply don’t need to, or the idea of which just isn’t on their radar. I’ve found myself preaching the importance of this to a close friend of mine, and we’ve spent nights going through guided meditation techniques in order to take a step back from our stress and anxiety.
I’m not saying we should all go join a meditation group, but it’s so important to do what makes you feel good, something positive for yourself. Treat yourself in a way you would treat a loved one. It’s a small step to self-acceptance.
With this in mind, I also want to take the time to re-discover the things I was once passionate about, things that I’ve allowed my troubles to interfere with; be it education, creativity and anything else in between.

I don’t know if this really makes an awful lot of sense, but I feel like I lost myself for a while and I want to start the journey towards finding myself again. If any of you have found yourself feeling the same way in recent times, I implore you to do the same. Kindness towards yourself really will go a long way.

– E
x

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